123: Literal Quickness
// 1 month ago
The Finals are over! The guys break down the NBA Finals as everyone slanders a different person. We talk how delusional HEAT fans think they’re getting everyone, and how McBobs is gonna save the HEAT? Gianni also tells his drunken story at a Chicago wedding. The guys react.
We welcomed Josh Baumgard of Slice Miami, who joined Giancarlo Navas, Brian Goins and Alex Toledo as they talked 2017 NBA Finals. Brian’s old bad takes were exposed and the guys compared Golden State to the Big 3 Miami HEAT.
The Clusterbleep crew rejoins with special guest Chris Joseph of the Miami New Times. Harrison scorches the Earth with his hot takes on LeBron James, HGH, Michael Jordan and more. Brass Jazz is unhinged. And Christian Hernandez has the best Kevin “Capri Sun” Love stats.
We celebrate four years of The Heat Beat Podcast with Giancarlo Navas, Brian Goins, Leif, Alex Toledo, and a cameo from a very special guest.
It is the duty of a journalist to search for the truth by any means necessary. I am not a journalist so I didn’t feel the need to exert a particularly large amount of effort in my search for the truth, but I did a few quick Google searches and what I found was shocking.
Tuesday night’s NBA Draft Lottery outcome was anything but a worst case scenario. In a league prone to tanking and where rest takes precedence over winning, what the HEAT accomplished this year is worthy of praise and admiration. Fans need to stop looking at a franchise’s assets not only in terms of draft picks and expiring contracts but in the value of standing and reputation.
We welcomed Chris Wittyngham of beIN Sports & Univision as our special guest to join Giancarlo Navas and Brian Goins in discussions that involve: Media members and former coaches who are statistically obtuse about advanced metrics, who the greatest NBA journeymen ever is, what if NBA commentators and color analysts rotated and covered new teams every year, and why the HEAT shouldn’t pursue a reunion with Dwyane Wade. We also sprinkled some pop culture and soccer talk since it’s the offseason and you can’t expect much better from us.
Tyler Matthew Johnson was never supposed to become the Toothless Terror that he is today. To understand how this undrafted 24-year old turned into this monstrosity, let’s start our diagnosis by examining his development beginning with his college years.
Gianni, Jack, Nekias and Brian fight through two hours of audio troubleshooting to bring you an hour of content that somehow talks about the Miami HEAT during a time when there are no games or news. How do we overcome it? Great question, you ask. Well, on this episode we debut a new segment where we give relationship advice using coined Spo-isms dubbed, “Exes and Spos,” a parody of Elle King’s pop hit “Exes and Oh’s.”
If you like bad, inconsistent internet connections, the sizzling sound of burgers being seared and Gianni’s frenzied yelling sprinkled with some basketball talk, this is the pod for you. God bless your heart.
We welcomed Israel Gutierrez of ESPN & Barry Jackson of The Miami Herald to discuss two of the greatest Miami HEAT stories published on the same day: (1) Pay Riley’s Manifesto from ESPN: The Magazine as written by Wright Thompson and (2) Dion Waiters’ Masterpiece written by Dion “Google Me” Waiters himself for the Player’s Tribune. We also break down HEAT free agency with Barry, who dropped some saucy nuggets.
Gianni, Alf, Alex and Brian welcome Allana Tachauer of Hoops Habit to breakdown Pat Riley’s season-ending presser, Bulls-Celtics, Brad “2-10” Stevens, and #AssetsTwitter.
Gianni, Harrison and Alex welcome Kelly Cohen of the Washington Examiner and SB Nation as they reflect on the 2016-17 season. We make fun of the Atlanta Hawks for being losers, slander more media members and discuss Hassan Whiteside as a potential dating suitor.
We welcomed Rohan Nadkarni of Sports Illustrated as our special guest to discuss why Udonis Haslem is a liar—at least to Gianni. We obsess about HEAT Culture and how players are making it seem like it’s a cult. We revisit our takes from the beginning of the season. And Rohan tells us Heat Twitter is too savage for him.
Anthony Chiang—the puppet!—returns from his 6-8 week ban for his fourth appearance on The Heat Beat Podcast to discuss last night’s HEAT win over the Charlotte Hornets (all the threes) with Gianni, Harrison, Leif and Brian. We bring back the most strident and cocksure Hot Take Harry ever. We play the game that’s sweeping the nation, “HEAT lifer or not a HEAT lifer?” And we debate whether or not Dion Waiters is worth a payday and why the Milwaukee Bucks are a bunch of losers.
Gianni, Alf, Harrison, Nekias, Brian and special guest Cat Fuentes (560 WQAM) spend most of the show derailing away from HEAT topics, using the power of laughter to make us feel better about Miami inching closer away from playoff contention. We bring back #MHBMailbag, Grinding Windermans II, and Nekias drops another golden one-liner during his “Small Sample Size Theater.”
Miami has seven games left on their schedule beginning with Friday’s rematch at home against New York. So let’s take a look at seven of the biggest questions surrounding the team as they continue their playoff push.
Gianni, Alf, Harrison and Brian discuss the HEAT’s playoff push, the hilarity of the Knicks, what HEAT Culture is perceived around the league, Gordan Hayward rumors, and we debut a new segment properly dubbed: “Heat Lifer or Not A Heat Lifer?”
Sources: HEAT fears Dion Waiters’ injury is a grade 3 ankle sprain, a complete tear of the ligament, one that would require a six-to-eight week recovery period that would keep him out for at least the remainder of the regular season. An MRI has yet to be scheduled because of swelling.
Our enemy Jorge Sedano of ESPN joins us. He namedrops a bunch of famous athletes while hijacking our show, Gianni doesn’t have the guts to say the HEAT will make the playoffs, and Leif and Sedano get into it about Culture vs. Process.
Giancarlo Navas, Brian Goins and Nekias Duncan welcomed Chris Axmann of the Almighty Baller Podcast Network. We make the case for Spoach of the Year, Gianni acts like a nerd…again, and Dion Waiters did what to our mothers? All of this—including the glorious tirade of Dion Waiters and child bearers—will be aired on Dash Radio under the “Almighty Baller Radio” channel. Stay tuned for more details.
We did the show we would’ve done on Tuesday had Evan Cohen not hijacked our show and made it better.
Be excited and hopeful about the future, because this organization has given you absolutely zero reasons not to. #TrustTheCulture, because it has proven to be stronger than any other “process” ever has.
Welcome to Give-and-Go! This is a series where we will point out some interesting numbers or film for the Heat in a… Keep Reading
It’s hard to attribute all of the HEAT’s success to Okaro White, but since signing with Miami on Jan. 17, he’s added an invaluable boost off the bench on both ends of the floor—even filling in as a backup center. Here’s some stats and film to prove it.